It’s been ages since my last visit to a comic book store. Sadly, I’m a bit out of touch.The Punisher, Daredevil, Hellblazer, V for Vendetta, Ghost World… These are all foreign to me. My experience with comics is PG at best.
On Free Comic Book Day, I went to a local comic store to grab a few for my kids (they were off doing their own things). The store had several aisles full of comics, collections, and graphic novels. Some people were dressed in brilliant costumes. I was like Charlie Brown teleported into a Sandman story. Completely out of place.
The true fans in the store where talking plot points, origins, and artists. They spoke with authority. I had trouble making sense of things. I couldn’t tell where to begin. Media overload. But I was the adult. I could be confident. And unlike the teenage guys and girls in the store, I didn’t have to wait until a check from my retail job cleared to cover any purchase. I thought, I was the cool one here, with good reason to relax. There was no reason to feel uncomfortable.
The true fans in the store where talking plot points, origins, and artists. They spoke with authority. I had trouble making sense of things. I couldn’t tell where to begin. Media overload. But I was the adult. I could be confident. And unlike the teenage guys and girls in the store, I didn’t have to wait until a check from my retail job cleared to cover any purchase. I thought, I was the cool one here, with good reason to relax. There was no reason to feel uncomfortable.
I regained confidence, pulled 5 comics and a collection of Wonder Woman stories from the 1940s. I thought I'd sit down and go through them. Then through a crowd of people, I spotted Frank Miller's Batman: The Dark Knight Returns on a low shelf. Got real excited. I heard great things. I went down on one knee to have a look. As I reached for the first issue, my shorts ripped in the back from the top of the pocket down.
Not so cool and relaxed as before. I looked up at a girl in a blue Summer dress and a guy in a Captain America costume. I knew they knew. Our eyes met. Captain offered a smile and a kind of "good luck with that, dude" expression. I was transported into some kind of super hero origin scene, where I was the pre-hero awkward kid with no developed special power, a prime target for bullies. I reached behind. It was a high tear. There was no concealing it. The four-leaf clover pattern on my boxers was exposed and certainly not bringing me any luck. I got up fast and rushed to the register to pay, not giving people an opportunity to look.
In line to check out, a woman spotted the Wonder Woman collection in my hand. Big smile. She complimented me on the selection, wanted to strike up a conversation. But I just wanted to get out of there. So I paid, didn't take a bag, and bolted.
Not so cool and relaxed as before. I looked up at a girl in a blue Summer dress and a guy in a Captain America costume. I knew they knew. Our eyes met. Captain offered a smile and a kind of "good luck with that, dude" expression. I was transported into some kind of super hero origin scene, where I was the pre-hero awkward kid with no developed special power, a prime target for bullies. I reached behind. It was a high tear. There was no concealing it. The four-leaf clover pattern on my boxers was exposed and certainly not bringing me any luck. I got up fast and rushed to the register to pay, not giving people an opportunity to look.
In line to check out, a woman spotted the Wonder Woman collection in my hand. Big smile. She complimented me on the selection, wanted to strike up a conversation. But I just wanted to get out of there. So I paid, didn't take a bag, and bolted.
It turned out later that I was a different kind of comic hero, at least to my kids. They liked my selections, and had a huge laugh at my ripped shorts story.
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